Should I ditch blogging for life as a serial quangocrat ?

March 24, 2010

Beware – this is one of my more ironic blog posts

Sitting on the train to Bristol on Saturday I read the entire Guardian cover to back. When I opened the Work supplement the cover article literally jumped at me: “Your quangos need you!” by Phil Chamberlain. The article told me that “being a quangocrat could be a great way to put your spare time and skills to good use”. 

Fantastic ! I am about to go on maternity leave on Friday so what could possibly be more suitable ?

The article continued: “….The Cabinet’s Office’s public appointment website lists more than 40 vacancies at the moment, many of which involve becoming members of local health bodies.”

It sounded too good to be true.  So I lost no time checking out the website and ..I found my ideal quango position: Non-Executive Director of Kingston Hospital NHS Trust. Deadline: 31 March. It pays £ 6, 000 a year for two and a half days work a month. BINGO !

Admittedly I don’t have any of the legal expertise or senior managerial experience required but – having seen Rachel Tyndall and Richard Sumray spitting out one empty phrase after another at the public meeting three weeks ago – I reckon I could do the same in the interview…and get away with it. They obviously do.

My guess is that I will get appointed if I simply make it very clear that I am absolutely committed to closing Kingston hospital and that I am determined to ignore all the local people who kick a fuss about the closures.

Once I have been appointed, have successfully helped to close down Kingston hospital and been paid for it  – the world will be my Oyster ! I could then choose to return to this blog and use my insider knowledge to continue to fight the closure of the Whittington.

But maybe I will like the life of a quangocrat so much that I will want to keep going. According to the Guardian article that shouldn’t be a problem: “It does appear that once you’ve got one quango appointment under your belt, others easily follow.”

Maybe in time I will turn into a mini-version of Richard Sumray, Chair of Haringey Primary Care Trust who is, what my friend Richard Wilson once described as a “serial quangocrat”. He has been appointed to a long, long list of all kinds of committees (Click here for some of them) and most infamously – according to the Daily Mail – helped to ensure that Ian Blair, the notorious former Head of the Metropolitan Police, could cling on to his position and his salary for a little bit longer after his “force was found guilty of health and safety breaches over the Stockwell shooting” in 2007.

Just imagine the havoc I could wreak ! Closing one hospital after another and getting paid for it. Once I’m done with the hospitals I’m sure I could cause some more mischief in local health authorities and make life a misery for local people. And of course I wouldn’t be accountable to the public.

I must admit that – being full of pregnancy hormones – it is currently  a bit difficult to get in touch with my more destructive side …but I am sure given a bit of time and the right money I’ll get there.

So you better watch out for Whittingtonmum, Queen of the Quangos !


One Response to “Should I ditch blogging for life as a serial quangocrat ?”

  1. […] clinician who tells me I’ll be fine in an emergency as long as I self-diagnose myself and a serial quangocrat who thinks he doesn’t even need to bother presenting an evidence-based case for change because […]

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